Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
