I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
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