So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
Randomize
