So I have $4.22 in my bank account, just wrote a check for a tooth brush from quikmart, and bought a 25 cent condom from the bathroom. i don't know whats more sad, my bank account or the fact that i'm entrusting my entire future to a condom machine that was probably last filled in 1970
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
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