wat bout pragnant strippers??
What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
Randomize
