This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
I'm timing the release of my poops to the sound of the machine gun from the video game he's playing in the living room.
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
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