Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
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