Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
Randomize
