Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
