I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
Randomize
