Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
Randomize
