paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
I don't do stupid things anymore. I do stupid people.
Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
I'm always down for nudity.
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