Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
Randomize
