their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Randomize
