there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
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