my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
theyre just this beautiful family of functioning alcoholics. i want them to adopt me.
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
Randomize
