masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
Randomize
