Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
Randomize
