i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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