dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
Randomize
