Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
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