Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
where are you?
Hypothermia
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
Drunk is not a location!
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize
