Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
