Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Randomize
