My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
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