how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
Randomize
