Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
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