Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
Why did I cab home last night?
Because you said you were drunk, sad, and someone called you a hooker.
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
Randomize
