What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
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