Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
