I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
One of my tenants at my fourplex that I own gave me a massive bag of severely dank pot and a brick of cocaine because she didn't have the cash to pay the rent. She might just be my favorite tenant!
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