RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Randomize
