Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
Randomize
