Tell her she can't have a vagina
I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
dear vagina, thank you for making it so goddamn hard to get pregnant. i love you.
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
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