I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
Is this like a preordered booty call?
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
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