You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
Randomize
