they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
Passed out watching pirates of caribbean with vodka in hand. Woke up to jenna jameson, with vodka gone.
hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
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