He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
Official reason: I couldn't get time off. The real reason: last Xmas nearly ended in alcohol poisoning to prevent me from screaming like a velociraptor
I spent most of the stoned conversation with my dad proving to him that the Newfoundland is an actual dog and NOT a Snuffaluffagus-esque figment of my stoned imagination, while laughing over the fact there is actually a place caller Dildo, Canada. Have YOU taken time to be a good dad today?
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
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