Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
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