A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
Randomize
