does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
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