one two three fourrrrnication!
i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
Morning! Got your 3am VM to remind you to get up for spin class and also confirm you were not murdered by the sketchy guy at brunch yesterday. So this is your literal and metaphorical wake up call.
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
Randomize
