okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
Randomize
