We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
This is your typical "sorry i got drunk and tried to seduce you into having sex while you were throwing up" text.
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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