Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
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