it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
and then I drunkenly screamed, "you can ride that Uber all the way to revenge city!"
which was funny until I realized I paid for my enemy's cab to go fuck my ex
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
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