If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
I understand Curling. That high.
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
Randomize
