Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
Randomize
