Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize
