I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
Randomize
