On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
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