i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
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