yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
Randomize
