got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
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