bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
Randomize
