I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
Randomize
