DUDE. I'm missing my big toenail. My bed has blood all over it. WHAT DID WE DO LAST NIGHT?
I don't know, but I chipped my tooth and I'm wearing different underwear.
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
Randomize
