can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
Randomize
