dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
Randomize